Monday, February 13, 2006

VALENTINE'S
DAY

I was thinking about Valentine's Day and what a sweet and loving day it can be, but also, how for some people and for some times in ones life it can be filled with a feeling of 'Heartbreak'....if you have lost a loved one, or broken up with a loved one...Valentine's Day can be a very painful day.

But, on the other hand if you have a love in your life that fills your heart with happiness....it certainly can be a Great Great Day filled with sweets, cards, gifts, hugs, and lots of love!

I want to talk about when I was 9 years old and had fallen in love. Yes, fallen in love in the deepest way and with the cutest boy in the world, Hugh McT. Hugh had black hair and black flashing eyes too, and was about the handsomest boy I had ever seen....and we were in Fourth grade together in Miss Clavette's class at The Kensington School, in Great Neck, N.Y.....

I don't remember now how we came to 'fall in love', but we did. And we would spend a lot of time together at my house....We used to sit next to one another, very very close together, on the back stairs at my house and we would 'neck'. I kid you not. We were like two little kissing bugs....and it felt so very good to both of us, we just couldn't get enough of this kissing and hugging. In retrospect I know that Hugh was my very first important 'love'...and at the time, it felt like a very deep love to me...

My grandmother, (my mother's mother..) who lived with us there in Great Neck, had a big 70th Birthday party in January of that year....(soon after New Year's)....the party was on January 11th, to be exact. And I remember quite a bit about that party because in less than a week, I became very very ill--an illness, by the way, that has come back to haunt me now, all these many many years later...but that's another story--I mention this only because everything in my life changed with that illness, particularly because they couldn't figure out what was really wrong with me. A lot of people were getting sick at the time....a flu-like bronchial type thing...but I was the only one who didn't get better...I just kept getting worse and worse and our family doctor seemed at a loss...and after about three weeks time I ended up in the hospital, and not a moment too soon, as it turned out. And after quite a few days they finally began to figure out what was wrong with me...and it turned out to be four major things that were wrong and I had to be operated on...a very serious operation because of these extremely serious four illnesses, combined...

I was in the hospital for three weeks...frightened beyond words...scared I was going to die....watching my mother be terribly frightened too, as she stood by the window of my hospital room in Mt. Sinai Hospital there in New York City...trying to hide her tears from me...but I saw them anyway and I became even more frightened....and frightened and hurt by having ten inch needles stuck into my back as they 'aspirated' my back looking for the fluid that had accumulated in my lung area and had encapsulated there---fighting time because if this fluid got into my blood stream, well...it would be all over for me....(these needles hurt so much that I became terribly frightened of any needle that I saw for a long time after that)....and then, the very second they found what they were looking for pinpointing exactly where they had to go, I was whisked up to the operating room and given that horrible lethal-smelling frightening stuff called 'ether'....which put me in a strange state in which I had dreams of scary smiling nurses looming over me...and actually woke up on the table...(Yes, I woke up on the operating table...help me, Oh God!)...before they were done!

Recovery was slow and painful and I was terribly weak, having been ill for over a month before the operation and then my body being assaulted by this ghastly but life-saving operation.
So...in the midst of all this with me getting clingier and clingier to my mother--fear having become a great part of my waking and sleeping hours---in the midst of all this, came a lovely Red Heart-Shaped Box Of Chocolate Candy. Yes, the wonderful boyfriend that was almost forgotten during this horrendously tense frightening time, had sent me a Beautiful Valentine. My first Box Of Heart Shaped Chocolates, ever....(And almost the last one, too, I might add...!)


Do you have any idea how much this meant to me? Did anyone know and understand what this truly meant in that moment? Did sweet young Hugh have a clue to how meaningfull this gift was to me---the poor little sickly-almost-died-girl-who's life was still in the balance....Oh, how my heart soared...Oh, all the I love I felt coming my way from my dear dear boyfriend...How did he even know I was in a hospital..?
I didn't know, and almost didn't care, cause all I knew was He remembered me on this very special romantic day.....it was like 'a movie'. Like a great great romantic MGM movie...and I was the female star and Hugh was the male star. Scarlet and Rhett...right here in Mt. Sinai Hospital. (I have said before that MGM ruined my life....see what I mean?)


My recovery was slow but, recover I did. We went to Florida within weeks of my being released from the hospital and only when I no longer needed to have dressings changed anymore because I had healed--from the inside where they had put the drain--and now, the body would do the rest, or not, so the doctors told my parents.
My parents decided on Florida because they had a house there and it would be warm there and I think they felt it would be more conducive to healing, though the doctors had said it really didn't matter where I was--if I was going to truly recover it would happen no matter what city or climate I was in....


We were gone till late April--Early May....so I had not seen Hugh for over four months and so, when I did go back to school I discovered that everything was different. Everything....Hugh had 'moved on'...It hurt terribly. It truly pained me in a way I hadn't understood before. It confused me, too. The Box of Chocolates had beeen so very important to me I couldn't understand how Hugh could have possibly forgotten our very special love for one another in such a short time....how he could have forgotten all our kissing and hugging on the back stairs---I could not understand any of this change that had taken place. My first real romantic heartbreak had happened and it wasn't over some differences between us or a fight of any kind...it was 'out of sight, out of mind' for him....and for me, it was a deep heartbreak on top of the deep deep body assault that had befallen me and which marked me in very many ways both physically and emotionally from that day on, to this...

But, Hugh had given me my very first 'real' Valentine's Day and it had all the meaning and emotion it was supposed to have and I have to say, it was probably the BEST Valentine's Day I have ever had, ever ever!






**You may have noticed that I have the beginnings of a blogroll now, thanks to the wonderful Craziequeen....but the mistakes you see are mine and hopefully they will be corrected, in short order...again, with the help of the kind and generous CQ....Keep a light burning in the window**




***Update, My Darlings: Finally, Finally...every link now works on this blogrolly thingy, as of 8:23pm. (February 13th, 2006) Los Angeles time...I had made some very stupid mistakes and NOW, they are ALL fixed....so, when I add some more, I'm going to try...Operative word...TRY, to watch my dislexisness more carefully. But, I am thrilled beyond words that I now have something over there on the side....Many people tried to help me...Aginoth, who tried so very hard...janelovestarzan who tried, too....and I thank them both for 'trying', beyond the call of duty...But, ultimately it was the fantastic, fabulous most wonderful Craziequeen, that broke-the-code of the problem, (and there was a major problem) and fixed it...how she knows how to do this--I will never never know...and I want to thank her with all of my heart for knowing. Hooray for Craziequeen! So....e
njoy my blogrolly thingy....I know I will, more than I can say.***







35 Comments:
had this to say:

That was a romantic story. Have you heard from Hugh ever since? Do you know how he is now? Didn't you even try to find out? Maybe it was not that he forgot about your relationship, it was because you went to another place without telling him.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 3:22:00 AM PST 

Blogger jac
had this to say:

wow! have you considered writing and publishing a memoir? you have some incredibly interesting life stories to share!

i plan to post about a valentine's experience or two for tomorrow's post. maybe you'll stop by.

have a wonderful day!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 5:11:00 AM PST 

Blogger jac
had this to say:

arrrrghhhh..........i keep forgetting to say "michele sent me" so just so you know... michele sent me! *grin*

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 5:12:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

Oh what a story! Now I've had my cry for the morning...how sweet and sad all at the same time.

Thank you so much for your stories-I LOVE them!

Found you at Kenju's and elsewhere and I love it here.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 8:33:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

The early loves mean so much and shape us for the later ones. How wonderful that yours left you such a treasured memory.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 8:40:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

loved this post! happy valentine's my dear naomi! :)

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 8:45:00 AM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Oh what a wonderful post! *sniff* (tears). Ah, the joy and heartbreak of young love.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 10:31:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

What a sad and lovely story all at the same time. Young love hurts so much at the time, but we never really know what we're in for later. Thank you for sharing.

Michele sent me! All the best.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 11:10:00 AM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Bittersweet I think is the perfect word for that story. Thank you for sharing it! And I think you are not the only one to have woken up during an operation. I did that, too, when I was four!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 11:36:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

That's such a sweet story, although what a precocious 9 year old you must have been:-) I'm amazed he even thought to send you a valentine gift, what a sweetie.

I wonder, is it easier to have your heart broken for the first time when you are still just a child, or when you are older & have put more into the relationship, but have eperienced more too?

Aggie & I don't do Valentines, so tomorrow won't be any different for me, but I know it's the make/break of many a realtionship.

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 12:33:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

A romantic story indeed.

I have a post up on leaving a secret Valentine's wish for someone who you care about, but cannot express your thoughts either because of loss, circumstance or distance.

Happy Valentine's Day to you!!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 1:15:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

What a lovely story :-) One's first love is always so poignant.......

MB and I exchange cards on Valentine's Day, which are then put up in the bedroom for all year round. Something we started when he was travelling with his work.

cq

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 1:27:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

Problem in links identified and cured - and will be visible once blogger agrees to republish!

cq

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 2:03:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

What a sweet story, I don't have any Valentines day stories simply because until about 20 years ago Valentines day was not celebrated here at all, it is not something anyone over 20 really grew up with lol.
It was only something we saw on TV, actually I just realised TODAY IS Valentines day here, we don't do anything as you may have gathered lol.
You really should write a book you know :)
( I have pictures up today , nothing exciting though lol)

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 2:54:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

What a beautiful and romantic story, Naomi. I agree with Jac, would be great if you write and publish your memories!
Naomi, you write so well!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 5:23:00 PM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Very sweet story...and well told. I must have been a late bloomer. I didn't fall into any kind of love until I was 13.

I loved your comments on my site today. Thanks!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 7:04:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

Naomi, thanks for adding me to your new blogroll. If I can ever figure out how to do it - you will be on mine as well.

We all had our Hugh's, didn't we? Just a part of growing up, I suppose. You should look him up now!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 8:51:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

WOW! Your blog looks absolutely stunning Naomi. And that story, what a tear jerker & to learn about love at such a young age. I'm glad your blogroll is up!
Boy, I'd give anything for some chocolates right now!

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 9:39:00 PM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

What a lovely story and you write in such a unique way! Happy Valentine's Day to you, dear Naomi! Have you ever heard from Hugh? I grew up without Valentine's and so did Mr. Mar so we don't officially celebrate this day. Have a happy one! and congrats on your blogroll, cq is a pro!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 1:34:00 AM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

and I see my name included! thanks so much :D

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 1:42:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

I'm sending you a special chocolate kiss. Enjoy a sweet Valentine's Day, and thanks for a sweet story...

Here from Michele

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 3:09:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

Hi Naomi, me again!
Your brogoll are great, so many interesting and beautiful links.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for make the link with my blog. I am grateful to you for doing this nice kindness!

Just now I read again this lovely post and I am curious too, like Mar: "Have you ever heard from Hugh?" Would be great if you tell to us someday, another LOVE STORY! (((Hugs)))

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 3:15:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

I agree with what other's have said, you could write a fantastic book!

What a lovely story and what a fitting day to share it :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 4:57:00 AM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Happy Valentine's day! I hope that you blogroll me. You are on my blogroll ! :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 6:16:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

What a great story Naomi! Kissing and necking at 9 years old...wow! At that age I still thought they were creepy! :)

That was so sweet that he sent the candy to you. How very thoughtful of him and it came at just the time you needed it so. Sweet, sweet story!!

So glad you got the links up. Thanks for linking me! I had a terrible time learning how to do that. Talk about trial and error!

Have a great Valentine's Day!!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 6:32:00 AM PST 

had this to say:

Your posts always make me sigh with delight and smile with wonder. Thank you for that.

Hugs, to you, today, and every day.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 2:39:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

That V-Day is so memorable because, I think, you had been through so much trauma at such a young age, and that box of chocolates was like a beacon of hope & love in the midst of a lot of pain.
I think of V-Day as a day of love, not just sweetheart love. I still get my kids little stuffed animals & candy & cards, and I send cards (or e-cards this year) to my loved ones. My Hubby gets the special treatment, of course.

Happy Valentine's Day!!
May you love and be loved by many.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 2:56:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

What a great story, except for you being so ill, of course.

Yay! YOu learned how to blogroll!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 3:02:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 4:29:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

N, happy Valentines Day!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 4:40:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

That is such a dear story about childhood loves, and how even at a young age the heartbreak of losing love can give a memory that one never forgets. Your story was wonderful. You must tell us more about your childhood. You absolutely must!

Happy Valentine's Day...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 6:19:00 PM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah so nice..
I love reading the stories...
and your images are of my favorite part of my california world

Oh and the other Michele sent me...

Friday, February 17, 2006 at 10:41:00 AM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Oh man, that sickness thing is terrifying. I woke up during surgery once, but it was only mouth surgery. Even still, I became aware of someone saying, "Oh, she's coming out early! Amanda, we're not done yet so you need to stay still. Just keep calm. I swear we're almost done." Its scary to be at the mercy of someone else like that.

Friday, February 17, 2006 at 11:04:00 PM PST 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

(Michele sent me. I keep forgetting that part)

Friday, February 17, 2006 at 11:04:00 PM PST 

had this to say:

Well, my comment will come about a year late - I found this post via your link on Valentine's Day 2007 - but I just had to leave a comment and say what a beautiful post!!!

Isn't it funny how adults think that children can't experience romantic love, but it's not true! My first boyfriend was when I was about 8 - he came up and kissed me on the cheek one day as we were lined up for assembly - in front of the whole school - which really meant something! We used to kiss too - we even promised each other we would get married when we grew up! His name was David and he wore thick rimmed glasses! :)

I often wonder what happened to him - do you know what happened to your Hugh? Is he still around? Do you know what became of him?

Anyway, a wonderful post and it really shows how the so-called 'little' things can make a lifetime of difference.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 3:10:00 PM PST 

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