Tuesday, July 14, 2009
ladies who lunch-part 5

Betty had directed everyone to sit in a certain area of the living room because she said, since I didn't want any "things" for my Birthday, she had decided, along with the others, that it would be fun to put on a little show for me, especially since I cannot get out to see shows any longer. Now, Clap your hands and say O00000000-----That's what I did. So the first thing Betty did was to say a Limerick she had written for me many many years ago...For those who don't know, Betty is one of the great great limerick writers--ever! And most of them are rather bawdy, which is a lot of fun....also, all of them are written for people she knows. And when Betty says them, they are always in a sort of British accent...I don't know why except I think she thinks they sound more Shakespearean, sort of....lol....So, here is that limerick she wrote for me......
There Once Was A Girl Named Naomi,
Who Bathed In Sweet Oils Like Salome,
And Here's The Best Part,
Whenever She'd F*art,
It Made The Bath Water All Foamy!

And that's how I discovered what the papers were all about. Remember back in Part 2, I showed you this picture of Betty writing on a piece paper? Well, this is what that piece of paper said! It was the "order" of performers of this little show they were going to put on for me...(She hadn't put Kim's name down because Kim had just gotten back from New York and didn't know about the plan).....She was talking to everyone in whispers--I guess--And they were writing down the order too, so that each one would know when it was their turn---thus, the paper in Dianne's lap, and the paper in Bridget's hand..(Those were the only ones I just happened to catch with my camera.....)
Then, Betty introduced Dianne..... Dianne read a wonderful poem that she had written about Martha Graham which she said could have been written for me, too....It was about how "tall" Martha Graham was even though she was rather tiny, in height....It was a really beautiful tribute to this fantastic Dancer/Choreographer/Teacher.....Then....Betty introduced Jacquie. Jacquie said a wonderful monologue from a play by Craig Lucas, called "Grief"....It was very very funny---I know you wouldn't think so because of the name of the play, but it was. It was a mother telling her children what she was going to leave them when she died....the word 'turd' came into this monologue quite a bit...lol.....We all were rolling on the floor! Then, Betty introduced Annie...... Annie told a joke. I know we absolutely adored it! But none of us can remember what the joke was now.....lol! I should call her and just ask her....! Then Kim got up, and though she hadn't prepared anything because she didn't know about it, she said some lovely things to me about our friendship and how much she loved me. It was really touching to me.......Then.....it was Seemah's turn..... She told two funny stories....One was about something her oldest son had said to his Dad when he was probably around three years old....the punch line was that he, Paul, was going to send his Dad to a 'Used Father Lot'....lol. The second story was about a phone call between Seemah and me, where Seemah asked Paul---now a grown man, to go to my house and pick up this extra copy of Betty's book that I had---she was leaving the next day for England and wanted to take it to her friend Nicole.....Paul left to come to my house while Seemah and I were still on the phone...And it is about a forty-five minute drive from Seemah's house to my house...He picked up the book and went back home---another 45 minutes....When he got back to the house, Seemah and I were still on the phone.....lol! Needless to say, there was a lot of laughter over that story.....Then came Bridget! Bridget sang a song that Betty had written, both words and music many years ago, which she used in her show, "Betty Garrett, Closet Songwriter".....it is called "How Sweet It Was"....and it is kind of a surprise 'revenge' song. A woman singing to a man---who had been a special man in her life, who then dumped her....then she sings about how sweet it was when she was able to tell him off---six ways to Sunday....A Very Very funny song....Again, much laughter.....When Bridget finished she then introduced the vaudeville team of Nan Ray and Mrs. Drinkwater......And here they are! Mrs. W: "Hey you - hey lady there - you!

Nan Ray: "Are You Speaking to me?"
(Mrs. Waterfall, a disreputable looking woman of indiscriminate age, wearing old sneakers, shabby skirt, blouse, sweater, and a ridiculous hat. She chases a respectable looking, trimly dressed woman, who's name is Nan Ray)
Mrs. W: "Yeah you - you Mrs. Nan Ray?" Nan Ray: "Miss Nan Ray - I'm not married."
Mrs.W: "Well congratulations! I'm glad to meet you Miss Nan Ray. My name's Mrs Waterfall." (She wipes her hand on her skirt and shoves it at Nan Ray) Nan Ray: (ignores the hand) You wished to speak to me?
Mrs. W.: Yeah, I heered you was an agent that gets people jobs.
Nan Ray: Yes, that's true.
Mrs. W.: Well, I thought you could get me a job.
Nan Ray: Well, I doubt it, but what do you do?
Mrs W: I work the streets.Nan Ray: You work the streets? (Laughs a lot).
Mrs W: Yeah, I make a bit of money that way.
Nan Ray: You do??
Mrs. W: Yeah. (puzzled) Oh, I get it - You think I sell my body?
Nan Ray: Well - yes. Mrs W: Hear that t*tties? She thinks we sell our body. Mrs W: Get about 2-cents a piece for you.Mrs. W: "Don't worry t*tties, I still love you."

And the "sketch" went on...it turned out that Mrs. Waterfall sang! And People threw money at her....but, not very much because as she said.... Mrs W: "I'm a lousy singer." She then kind of begs Nan Ray to let her sing for her and Nan Ray says..."Let's hear 16 bars". Now, the whole reason Betty chose this sketch was because she saw these two vaudevillian's waaaaaaay back in the 1940's and loved the song that Mrs. Waterfall sang.....It was a kind of Pig Latin version of "Alexander's Ragtime Band"......"Come onika here ka lere ka dere, Come onika here ka lere ka dere,Alekazackas racka dacka Backs lacka.....".....Then ending with a kind of show biz ending, when you don't actually have a band playing for you....."Ta Plata Plunk!"......Nan Ray doesn't know what Ta Plata Plunk is and Mrs. W is so disgusted with her she says, "You sure you are a show biz agent?" And Nan Ray kind of blows her off.....Mrs W. then proceeds to say: "Cheap agent! Probably would have charged me 10% of my take----well I don't need her." Nan Ray leaves in a huff, and Mrs. Waterfall skips off singing "Come onika here......". And that was the show. You had to ne there...lol.....

Now just to remind you what Betty had on before the show..... And somewhere right after Bridget came on, Betty disappeared---she was behind me so I didn't see her go....And when she came on in the sketch she was dressed in her "costume"! All the pictures were taken when they did the sketch for a second time--I had asked them to do it so I could take pictures....These were all during the performance (And there are a lot more...but I figured, you might get bored....)---nothing is posed. I took the one above after they did the sketch for the second time, and then this last one which I asked them to sit there so I could take it. They both were adorable! And we all had a lot of laughs wuth this sketch! And there you have it! My "Ladies Who Lunch" Birthday Celebration....I hope this was worth waiting for.....(lol). It sure was a lot of fun to see....!

More To Come.......

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

What a wonderful surprise birthday present for you!

Love the photos - can just picture the whole show if they did it on film....hmm, maybe when you upgrade your camera?!! LOL

Once again, great post.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 3:10:00 AM PDT 

Anonymous Anonymous
had this to say:

Oh my that's so wonderful. I can't stop laughing when I read the limerick! I have a weakness when it comes to fart jokes or anything that involves farting lol.

I wish I was there and be part of the magic. So nice.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 3:17:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Great friends you have there. You're so fortunate.

BTW, I would've paid good money for tickets to that show!


Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 6:30:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Youh are such a fabulous group of girlfriends - I know how lucky you know you are. I only hope when I reach your age I too have a group of girlfriends like yourself...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 9:06:00 AM PDT 

Blogger Mar
had this to say:

You are such a delightful bunch! you know how to enjoy life and that's a lesson to be learned.
Have a wonderful day, Naomi. I will be in France tomorrow and Mr Mar will be rowing the day after, I will just sit in the canoe and enjoy life :)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 1:44:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Close friends are a blessing and my dear, you are most blessed. I loved every minute of Ladies Who Do Lunch and enjoyed reading every related posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 4:57:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I always enjoy your "Ladies Who Lunch" episodes, and when a birthday's involved, so much the better! You're a fantastic storyteller, and your photos are marvelous, too. I'm so glad you share your life and history with us in your blog -- bravo!!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 5:26:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Oh, that is absolutely priceless! To have such good friends give you gifts of their time, creativity and thoughtfulness is beyond special. You have been truly blessed in life! Thanks for sharing. I love seeing your pictures and reading the descriptions of the events. It's almost like being there.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 6:36:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

you always have so much fun at your birthday parties, Naomi! today is my daughter's 21st birthday. She's out with friends this evening, but we had a lovely time with her on Sunday.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 7:21:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

So spontenous and forthcoming for presenting a wonderful show for you and we get to enjoy it just as much ;D

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 10:57:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Wondeful Naomi. What a great surprise and so much beter than a present that you dont really need. You are a talented bunch of women. I love Betty's blue eyes - they are a gorgeous colour - she has a gorgeous face. Next time you must video them doing their perforamnce. It will give you reason to smile whn you remember their performances. Loved the photos very much and you are clearly loved a great deal by your friends. Oh I love the phone story, imagine!!!! Um something a lot of us could be guilty of. Thank you for sharing your birthday with us. Even though we are on the other side of the world it felt like being right there in your living room.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 12:18:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

What fun! I love Betty's hat and transformation. I guess you got no "chachka." That's what my friend Alwyn said she wanted none of for her birthday. I had to look it up.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 6:01:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

how absolutely wonderful! I do believe that if Betty were a good friend of mine like she is yours, I would actually like having birthdays!

what a great bunch of friends you have Naomi. You are blessed! Thank you over and over again for sharing your friends with all of us.. I for one cherish your moments of joy with them always.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I love coming to your blog and seeing your photos and the fun times you have, and then share with us.

I hope that doesn't pukey, but I mean it.

I can feel the fun radiating from your blog!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 1:29:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

How fun and what a great idea instead of physical gifts to give themselves.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 1:42:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Well, I don't know if my comment came though or not. I hit something and it all disappeared, so I don't know it if disappeared or went to a comment. Arghh!!

Anyway, I LOVED the post and I can just imagine the laughter that you all shared, which is so wonderful. I really cracked up at the limerick!!

How delightful that they did a skit for you and entertained you and each other!! Wonderful times Naomi!!! xxoxx

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 2:30:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

What an incredibly sweet thing for your friends to do for you! I loved seeing the photos of everyone in costume.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 4:01:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

What a wonderful Birthday, Naomi! Sounds you all had much fun! It's so great to have such a lovely friends.
Really I'd love to have been there!
Thanks for sharing your
perfect day!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 8:42:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Naomi, I think that was the best present they could ever give you, right? And too bad no one videotaped it!! It sounds like it was so funny. How precious it must be to know they love you enough to do all that for you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 9:07:00 PM PDT 

Blogger PI
had this to say:

What a rare and wonderful performance! Like Randall I would have paid a lot to see it but it was very special for the most intimate of friends and you must feel very blessed. If I had been there I would have laughed until I cried and then got hiccups. I love those rare times.

Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 3:11:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Hi Naomi,

Great post really beautiful.


Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 4:46:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

That was so worth the wait. You really know how to pick your friends. What a marvelously fun and talented bunch.
Perfect gifts they gave you, just the right size and color. I too hope you video taped it.
Think you may have started a trend of "no gifts".
Thanks for letting us be the fly on the wall.

Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 7:51:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I'm sure it was absolutely impossible to keep a straight face through all those shenanigans, not that you'd want to anyway! I'm surpised I didn't hear the howls of laughter all the way to Canada.... but wait a muniute.... I think I did hear something.... far away and in the distance! It must have been "The Ladies Who Lunch"!

Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 2:09:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Ha! Great limerick!

Definitely a birthday you'll never forget!

Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 6:54:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Let me start out by saying you have the most amazing friends, Naomi! You are all so different and unique, but you share your zest for life and a wonderful sense of humor...and who can grow old with friends like these???

Betty is so animated and fun, and her outfit was a crack-up, not to mention her line about the t*tties. Just priceless! LOL

Btw, I love how "foamy" rhymes with Naomi, and the skit was fantastic! I could just picture the scene with all the wonderful dialogue and pictures you shared. It's as though we were right there with you in your living room.

Yes, my friend, it was worth the wait!! Although I consider you ageless, I hope you have many more birthday celebrations with your beautiful friends!

Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 7:19:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

This has been so much fun. You said "no gifts" and yet got gifts that are probably the best of your life and absolutely priceless. Thanks for sharing all of this with us!

And I guess you know by now that "Grey Gardens" got 17 nominations. But you saw that coming.

Friday, July 17, 2009 at 12:16:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Happy Birthday, beautiful! I love this - and am happy Scarlet said to visit. My pal Rabies the monkey may wish to come see these lovely ladies in person soon....

Friday, July 17, 2009 at 8:49:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Naomi, that was a BLAST to read and I absolutely love the pictures....so expressive!! They would look so amazing as a framed series.

I can't think of any better medicine than to have your beautiful friends surround you with joyful laughter. What a terrific birthday present.

Friday, July 17, 2009 at 10:49:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

You have some mighty fine friends Naomi! What a fun thing to do. You ladies are so blessed to have one another.

Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 7:51:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I hope I have a quarter of the creativity and spirit you girls have! Such fun!

Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 2:58:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I laughed just reading your narration. :)

Monday, July 20, 2009 at 9:22:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Those skits, poems, and songs are FAR better than any "thing" they could have given you.

I cracked up over the skit!! How funny the picture is when Betty is looking down at her t*tties. I bet you laughed yourself silly!!

GREAT fun was had by all, and that makes it a wonderful birthday celebration.
You are indeed loved, and your friendships with these ladies is priceless. Many people go through life not ever knowing the kind of closeness you have with these dear friends.

Such wonderful memories!! You will cherish this birthday even though and maybe because it came at a very sad time in your life. I think the way your friends lifted your spirits will make this a birthday to cherish forever.

That was not a typical birthday party. When does anyone get to have all that talent displayed in one setting and given as a gift to one person?
I hope you feel VERY special indeed!!!!
Thanks for letting us peek in and share the joy along with you.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 5:14:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

pls, next time invite me as the writing flie on the wall.
I do think, my dear, what i mean;))

btw. cats and kittens are well.
we will leave for southern Europe tomorrow. IƦll keep ypu informed of course.

Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 5:30:00 PM PDT 

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