Monday, April 02, 2007
the u.k. & the u.s. - one big difference........And A Rememberance

Right to the point and extremely polite! This of course is The U.K.


And then, below....there is this, from The U.S.

That says it all, doesn't it?

This sign from the United States is hanging from some small trees in the front garden of a very lovely home that sits right on the street, at the top of my street....I am thinking of stealing this idea and having one made just like it. I tried the sign from the U.K. in my front bed, (which I found in The Cotswolds, by the way)....I'm afraid the dog did not understand...Well, I should say, the dog owner did not understand. It was, no doubt, just too polite a request for the owner of the dog that left that little pile.....up there at the top of the picture.

But I really think the second sign speaks right to the mentality of all of us here in America. Well, here in Los Angeles, anyway....It's tough and it's crude. Yeah, that ought to work wonders! And if nothing else, the dog may get a good laugh out of it.

"Laughing Dog" by Saul Steinberg.

See my neighbor in this picture below, (Remember him?). He has the right idea! And very classy, too!




On a more serious note: Forty-One years ago today, on April 2, 1966, my mother died having struggled with cancer for over three years....

This was the very last picture that was taken of her....in less than two months after this picture was taken, she was dead. But during the time of this picture....she would sit in the chair she is sitting in, in this picture, in the living room----the living room of the house I grew up in....We would sit together in front of the tv. We would be be sewing. She was making little stuffed animals, and I was doing cross stitch pieces. We would watch television together and sometimes listen to music....I remember talking about the Beetles to her and saying that she didn't really understand....that they were truly talented....that I hadn't liked them either and then I heard "Yesterday"....and I played the song for her. She cried. I was too young then to understand why that song touched her so deeply that it brought her to tears....I felt badly that I had made her cry but she was okay with it.One of these times as we sat there, I said to her, "Ma, I don't want you to die!", and I cried....She cried too, and said, "I don't want to die either, but....." . I am so glad we had this conversation. So much went unsaid back then about death and dying. So much pretending went on. So much denial. So I am deeply grateful that that did not go unsaid between us.


My mothers life was very hard in so very many ways.....Her father died when she was nine years old. A loss that I don't think she ever recovered from. It truly effected all the choices she made for the rest of her life...choices she could not help.She met my father soon after her father died. They were both nine years old, and very poor. Both had to go to work at fourteen so neither ever finished school. And that relationship was fraught with such a great mixture of things, that after twenty years of marriage they seperated (and then divorced, finally, three years later)---and she never really got over that love and loss, either.....Daddy was the love of her life, and the pain of her life, too....She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt.....And I think that is all any of us can do. So today, forty-one years later, I remember my mother and the fact that once again Passover is here as it was back then two days after my mother died. Jewish tradition says we must bury our dead right away....But because of Passover, we didn't. Which turned out to be a good thing because it gave us all a few extra days to make the choices one must always make. We buried my mother on April 6th, 1966....Her journey was over. Her pain was over. Ours was just beginning....

One last thing: I wish each and every one of you out there in the blogesphere who celebrates Passover, the most wonderful of Holidays and a truly Happy Sedar....





More To Come......









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40 Comments:
had this to say:

Oh what a wonderful tribute to your Mum. Thank you for sharing this! And the photographs are just beautiful.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 5:01:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

This post brought tears to my eyes - first from laughing about the doggy sign and then about your mother. It is good that you still remember her in such a beautiful way... She would be proud of you.

Keep smiling.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 5:09:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

As you know, I'm a HUGE dog lover and own two. However, I also feel VERY strongly on being a responsible dog owner! ie: barking, picking up the poop in public. I think it's unforgivable not to walk your dog with a "baggie" to remove their deposit from a neighbors lawn. Geesh....would one just toss a dirty Pamper onto a neighbors lawn? (hmm, come to think of it...guess some would) Great signs!
Sending you warm thoughts on the anniversary of your mom's passing. She looked like a very classy lady. Well, of course she was....she had YOU for a daughter! If you're celebrating the holiday....enjoy, Naomi!

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 6:12:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

wow this post had a lot in it! Many memories for you. That always seems to happen when certain dates come.. I am glad as time goes by I can think of these sort of things easier. I'm sure you are too.

..and then there's that sign! LOL.. it certainly should work for those animals with adults "that are able to read" .. it makes you wonder doesn't it?!

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:03:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I think you and I were about the same age when we lost our mothers, and I don't think you ever stop missing them. Hugs to you.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:06:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Have a wonderful Passover and Seder, Naomi! This is a lovely post about your mom. She was very pretty as a young woman, and I see your resemblance to her.

This date is significant to me too; I met mr. kenju's family on April 2, 1964, in NYC. He was there to participate in the Olympic Trials at St. Johns U. and I was invited up there to meet them. I stayed in the Statler Hilton.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:24:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Oh this post is soo touching.
The subjects of the first two posts I have read this evening had dealt with illness and Mothers subjects very close to my heart at the moment. I am so glad you had that conversation with your mother. It doesn't matter what age we are we struggle when our parents are so ill.
The first post I ever read on your blog had that picture of your classy neighbour.

Have a good Passover
xx FIzz xx

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 11:16:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

What a wonderful tribute to your mom. I am very glad you had the chance to talk to her as you did. he sound slike she was a strong person.

BTW - I loved your signs. It does kind of spell out the difference between the US and the UK but we all know that in reality there are both types. I just think it's really rude of dog owners to treat your beautiful garden that way. Perhaps a sign to the dogs saying "woof woof woof woof" might work? LOL!

Thanks for sending the Fat Lady over to see me. She is fabulous!

Happy Sedar to you, take are on this important and personal anniversary.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 2:32:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Happy Passover!

we are celebrating the life and times of my best friends brother, he left us 2 years ago today. i will send up a prayer for your mother tonight as well.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 2:37:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

So sorry for the loss of your Mom. Even though it was many, many years ago, it doesn't mean she is forgotten. I hate when owners don't clean up after their dogs! I always take 2 bags with me out on walks, just in case. I'm here from Bob-Kat's--congratulations on your award!

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 3:58:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

That was a beautiful post. I'm also so glad that you had that time, and that conversation with your mother.....those that are left can find comfort in the words and conversations, and ignoring it and denying it leaves such a void. It's cliche, but closure is a great gift to leave those that are left behind. (And I LOVE the signs......too bad the pup couldn't read it, ha)

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 4:34:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Beautiful post, Old Lady of the hills. I'm glad that you had that wonderful conversation with your mother... It sounds like she had so much sadness in her life, and that you were very compassionate about that.

The second dog sign cracked me up !

Happy Passover to you, too !

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 6:26:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Your mother was a beautiful woman...and she must have been very strong because of the trials she endured. May your Passover be blessed.

Kendra

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 6:37:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Wow, that second sign sure ought to stop the dog owners from letting their dogs poop on your property without cleaning it up! Very to the point!!! LOL Unfortunately some people have no respect for other people's property.

Very touching memories of your Mother. I loved all the pictures. She was a very attractive lady. So nice that you did have that conversation with her before she passed away.

Have a wonderful Passover and Sedar Naomi! Loved this very sweet and touching post about your dear Mother.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 7:06:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Your mother died a week after I was born. This post is so sad....I know your mother would love the beautiful women you became and would be so proud of all you've accomplished. The photos were beautiful!

In the other section....I am so lucky that the little Labs go way out into the horse pasture or deep in the woods...I love them extra for that!

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 7:42:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Heh, I love the sign! Sometimes getting right to the point is the best way to go.

Lovely post about your Mom. I can certainly see the resemblance.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:07:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

So much in this post dearest Naomi - glad you are feeling better - what a lovely tribute to your mother and Good Pesach to you my friend.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:39:00 PM PDT 

Anonymous Lyn M.
had this to say:

Memories from the corners of our minds...they're like dots connecting the pattern of our lives. How lovingly you remember your Mother and how lovely she was. Remembering ebbs and flows like the tide throughout our lives and keeps those we love alive forever in our hearts.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 8:54:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

A tribute to all the moms out there. *sniff sniff

BTW, I was pimped here by the queer chef.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 9:37:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

That was a lovely tribute to your Mom. Those "deathaversaries" are always tough. Do you still find yourself thinking of a question from your past and thinking, "I'll ask Mom?" I still do that with my Dad. Questions that will never be answered.

Monday, April 2, 2007 at 11:05:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

You have done your mama proud Naomi. No one can ask for more than to be loved so much and so well both during their life and so long after they have left us.

And as to the dogs, I fear the worst owners don't read so you have quite a challenge. Good Luck

C

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 8:25:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I remember the first time you posted that dogwalking sign :-)
We're essentially so 'proper' in Britain :-)

Nice to see your neighbour being so responsible - I'm hoping to see one of his films soon :-)

Honey, your mama was so pretty, and you have done her proud. A sad anniversary but beautiful memories :-)

I have baked my second loaf of bread - trying to teach myself....

cq

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 12:15:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Happy Passover, Naomi. I hope some of your family and friends can celebrate with you. It's been a long time since I've been to a Seder...

Your reflections on your Mother are very touching, Naomi. It's hard enough to lose a parent like that as an adult, I can't imagine how your parents endured losing theirs at the age of 9.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 12:53:00 PM PDT 

Blogger srp
had this to say:

What a lovely tribute to your mother and how good that you had those conversations together. So many cannot leave this world knowing they have left nothing unsaid to their family.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 1:07:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

What a lovely and touching tribute to your Mother, Naomi! I loved all the pictures, principally the last one where she looks so tranquil! Thank you for sharing your lovely memories.

The dog’s sign is very funny and useful to the owners! When I walk with Flora, I always have a bag to remove her “deposit”.

Have a wonderful Passover and Seder, my dear Naomi!

PS: Thanks for your visit and nice words about my place. Yes, I had shown my place and neighborhood before and I made one post with those same photos, on my older blog Glance-Olhar. Did you see that I made another blog in Portuguese? You can visit it clicking on the Brazilian flag.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 1:23:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I never let the boys go on someone's property. By go, I mean walk on it. So, if they aren't walking on it, they aren't using it as a toilet. Major pet peeve of mine. Courtesy is lost. Love the post about your mom.

I need to go find that sign!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 1:29:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

A thought today goes for your beautiful Mom...I have no doubts that she is up there taking care of you and feeling so very proud...

A huge hug for you!!!

PS: The US dog sign was great...it could have been from a New Yorker;)

Maria

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 5:05:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I only have snakes and cavvies but I do really hate it when people let their dogs crap on the lawn that I try to keep nice. I applaud all responsible dog owners. At least we dont have to be rude to you.

Also, I am pleased to see that you take the time to remember the passing of you mother. It's hard to find people that take the time to do such a thing.
my regards
~Leigh

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 5:24:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

And what a nice remembrance of your mom.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 6:52:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Happy Passover, Naomi.

We used to have a sign on our condo grounds that said:

Dogs are not allowed
to run at large
or defecate
on private property

It was amended so the middle two lines are now covered in white tape. Ha!

Click on my name to see it.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 6:52:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Happy Passover Sedar!
L'shanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim!
I am sorry for the loss of your mom. Your post was a beautiful tribute to her. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I remember listening to Yesterday with my mom. I will have to mention that next time we chat.
Everyone should pick up after their pets. It is a shame you need a sign to remind people.
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 11:45:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I can really see the difference between the UK and US signs. Quite funny actually.

You really have a lovely mother Naomi. And what a lovely photo you have of her as well.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 at 5:49:00 AM PDT 

Anonymous the fat lady
had this to say:

Happy Passover!

I think in your neighborhood, a communal tank-car of "No!!" (the pet repellent) is needed!
Actually, it's a good idea to train small dogs to use a litter box. The poor little guys are under stress if their "big one" is delayed in traffic, and the owner is under stress, too.

You and Sweetie have a beautiful holiday!

P.S. A toast of sparkling bubbly to "Mama Jen", wherever she may reside up in Pearly Gates Estates!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 at 6:12:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

I wish you a blessed Passover.

I see a resemblence between you and and your mother. That final photo made me sad. It is neat how you showed photos of your mother from the last one and made your way through time to the photo of her in her youth.
She did have many hardships and heartbreaks.
I am so glad you spent time with her at the end and had meaningful conversation.

Those dog poo signs are great.
I love the wording of the UK one. As you said, it is so overly polite that here in the US both dogs and people would ignore it. :)
You could always opt to have a recorded message playing from a loud speaker that simply says,
"Don't you DARE let your dog CRAP in my yard!!"

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 at 8:26:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

I can't even imagine life without my mom. I think moms & daughters have such a close bond, it progresses to different stages all our lives. It's interesting to find out why our parents are like they are, ie...her losing her dad at a young age. She was such a beautiful woman & I'm glad you got to say all you did to her.

As for the doggy poo, ugh...the grounds here are like a damn landmine! I have pics of doggy poo too, remember I took them sometime in the fall I think. I should DNA testing & bust the lazy owner! Man, talk about a pet peeve. (heh, pun intended!)

While the UK sign has more tact, I bet more dogs poop there than do by the US sign! haha

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 at 10:19:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

That was a very touching tribute to your mother. One of the the things that happened when I lost my brothers was that I felt less separated from the whole human race. Facing loss makes you know what it is to be human.

The signs are a riot! How about the word SHIT with a read cross through it.

Thursday, April 5, 2007 at 6:28:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Awwwwww Naomi... what a sweet sweet tribute to your mom. And it caught me totally by surprise seeing as how this post began! *s* Your mom was a very pretty woman!

Friday, April 6, 2007 at 10:14:00 AM PDT 

had this to say:

Your mama was just beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Friday, April 6, 2007 at 2:38:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

That is so sweet, that you got to sit with your mom and talk about that stuff. That meant a lot.
"Yesterday" can be such a sad song as we get older, can't it? It's an awesome song.

Saturday, April 7, 2007 at 6:01:00 PM PDT 

had this to say:

Sorry this is an 'Off Topic' post but I can't find a contact link for you.
In your January blog you mention David Shaw and Maxine Stuart. Do you know Ms Stuart?
I run the 84 Charing Cross Road - Revisited web site at:
http://www.84charingcrossroad.co.uk
I would like to contact Ms Stuart as I have a few questions about her friendship with Helene Hanff.
Can you help at all?
Kind regards
Steve

Monday, April 23, 2007 at 12:18:00 PM PDT 

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