More To Come......
Note: I originally published this post on February 1st, 2007---though I have made some changes, it is substantially, the same....I was going to write something new and I re-read this and thought---No. This says it all and I don't think I can improve on it by writing something new....So, for those of you who might find this familiar....you are correct!
I, for one, am very happy you are still here. Although we have only met over the computer I like to think we'd be real friends in real life. you share your friends and yourself so openly I could not picture you anywhere but where you are..and although our bodies are not so nice to us as we age, you are still giving of yourself and sharing your friends.. I am very glad I found you!
Wow. I wonder if all us survivors have those moments? Mine was going to Vancouver. I went there with the intention of ending everything, and I believe I truly felt the spirit of God redirecting me. You took a plane, I took a train. It's been 18 years of good and bad moments for me since Vancouver. I feel lucky in that I believe I've had more good than bad. Those bad moments still make me ponder that ultimate decision I made 18 years ago, but now with hindsight, I know the bad doesn't last forever and I can get through it. That moment when I got to the edge and chose to step back, completely changed the rest of my life. My world expanded. I got ten years of higher education. I left a horrible relationship that was toxic for me and am now in a healthy, happy relationship. I sometimes wonder, what would have happened to my family and friends had I chose to end it. I would have ceased to be an influence, a source of comfort, a resource, for them all. Suicide is a selfish action, but I didn't know that at the time. I'm glad I lived long enough to understand that. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of mine.
I only know you through your blog but I would never have imagined you had such a desperate time in your life. You seem so positive today.
I am so very glad you caught that plane and sat by that particular man. I do hope you have let him know just what that meeting meant to you.
I'm sure, unwittingly we have all affected someone in a positive way in our lifetimes, only never to know it.
That plane ride brought you to another coast and a better frame of mind but it also brought you to us. That was a fortunate day.
This was a wonderful post for me to read, however, today I realize age has no barriers and today I feel so low..wondering how can we be so old and still so sad and uncertain of what can make life better.
I am so glad you took that step. It always amazes me how much we have in common about certain things. I got on a plane alone at 17 at my lowest low to leave North Carolina to go to Texas to live with my mom who I had not lived with in almost 3 years. And like you I am still here! I had been starving myself and crying all the time and I was literally about to disappear. Taking that step, knowing something has to give is important. You are one of the most fascinating people I have ever known and it's terrifying to think you might have winked out too soon. I love your painting. To me it says, "The heart is a puzzle." And that is so true!
Congratulations for making good decisions at a bad time and coming so far. You really are a gem.
Now that was an amazing post and so very inspirational. And what an amazing life you have Naomi. And there will be lots more highs too. This must have been a real turning point for you and isnt it wonderful that it changed your life and you were able to make that tough move. We are all happy as where would we be without your blog and your rich and wonderful posts. You my dear have lived a life full of ups and downs and have wonderful long lasting friendships. That says so much about you. I love you and I love your talent and wish we could all be there to celebrate your 80th birthday. We will have to celebrate it somehow!!
I'm also very happy that you are still here and I got the chance to know a very lovely person like you. I attempted suicide when I was 14, but I failed in which I'm thankful for because I wouldn't have met my husband, my new family and friends like you who accepted me for who I am.
I really hope to see you soon. I think Odd and I will be in California around October.
A beautifully written post. (even again, lol!)
I'm so glad that you were brave enough to look for and find what you need. It's a hard thing to do.
Been reading your blog for a few yrs but have never commented (although on a few occasions I've considered it), but this time I had to. Thanks for reposting this entry. Reading about your airplane ride really moved me. I will make a point of recalling this experience the next time I hit a low point. Thanks so much for your blog (love seeing the pics of you and your friends, including Betty whom I recall seeing on All In The Family when I was still a kid.
I've read your blog for years, but this may be my first comment. I so enjoy reading about your life and appreciate your transparency and willingness to share it all with us. You're remarkable. Everybody deserves a Feb. 1, 1961.
What a huge difference making that flight was for your life. Like you implied, if wasn't a magic pill that healed everything at that moment, but it was the start in the right direction that kept you going, reaching ahead, creating, and finding and experiencing so many wonderful things.
That painting is glorious, and it is a hopeful reflection of what was inside of you. So marvelous! This is worthy of re-posting time and time again.
All of our experiences are part of the tapestry of our lives, aren't they. That which makes us feel the darkness also lets us experience the incredible lightness of being. And somewhere, there is a balance. And sometimes it is the imbalance that is the balance. And so it goes.
What courage it must have taken to get on that plane 50 years ago--and how amazing that you had that encounter on the plane! There are so many people who are grateful that you made that daring move to Los Angeles half a century ago (myself included)! Happy Anniversary! (Where did you live when you first got here? I forget when you moved into your permanent digs.)
My dear Naomi, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Yes, I remember well the wonderful post you did in February 1st, 2007!
Again, I love so much your statement: Meanwhile, I honor this day because though I traveled 3000 miles to find the answers, of course, taking myself with me, it was probably the best and most important plane ride I have ever taken in my whole life.
I went to your original post and I reread my comment that I like to
copy and paste here: "This is a very beautiful, brave and meaningful post, my dear Naomi. Happy Anniversary on your journey to Life. You certainly inspire me and others friends, too. Thanks for sharing your memories!"
Thanks for reposting this, as I missed it the first go around.
I look forward to your next 50 years.
The world is blessed with your existence, Naomi. I'm so glad you took the trip and "arrived" to your self.
That heart looks open and growing, with some healed over wounds mixed in.
I'm so glad that you reposted this, Naomi because we didn't know each other then! You shared so very much in this one, and I'm also thankful for that. This is, indeed, a big day to commemorate so *clink* to you lady! I hope you feel like you're right where you need to be right now!!
I knew after reading the first 2-3 sentences that I had read this before, Naomi. Now, as then, I am sorry to know of your troubles and I am so glad that you are a survivor!!
I had some of those moments too; not as deep as yours, I think, but I am so glad that we both persevered toward mental health and happiness.
Wow my friend. You have been in thick and thin and managed to make it.. I just hope we can manage our little set back right now. I posted about it early this morning before bed. Life isnt over yet for us but very close it seems..
I'm glad you're still here. I do enjoy popping over and reading your posts, even if I don't actually know you.
I adore that painting! I hope you'll share some more of your work with us.
Take care :)
I'm so proud of you for making such a drastic chnge in your life
especially back then, women didn't just get up and go - at least that's what all the women of my childhood told me
I love your painting
I pretty much love everything you create since your heart and soul is in all of it
Hope sends big hugs
God bless you for getting on that plane and for finding someone to help.
The world would be emptier without all you've shared.
Hugs and Blessings
Like others, I comment more on your extremely positive spirit nowadays. Shine on.
This was a beautiful post, and your painting is beautiful too.
I believe that God sends angels in the form of human beings to look after us in times of need. So it doesn't surprise me one bit that the man next door to you on the plane was there, or the other people that have come into your life since.
I totally understand what you mean about creative stuff too.
Worth reading again and again. Good for us that you made the journey. You learned a profound truth about life and purpose. An artist must create or life is not worth living. The toxic in our hearts and souls must be released somehow. For me, this is a very uplifting post and rich with hope.
I'm so glad you did post it - especially at this time of year, when so many people feel 'down in the dumps'.
Your lovely painting of hope is very apt because your getting on the plane was testament to the fact that you hadn't given up hope. That and your courage saw you through a black time and is a shining example for all of us who aren't always on an even keel.
Take care of yourself because you are very much needed and many congratulations on getting where you are today.
Oh 50 years Naomi! Now you probably look back and say "where did they go," as it seems to me that time literally flies these days!! I'm so glad you took that plane ride and began a new journey in your life. I know you wouldn't trade the life you've had there and the wonderful friends for anything.
I'm so glad we met in this thing called blogging!! We haven't met in person but I feel like I know you and consider you a dear friend.
You inspire others through your wonderful blog Naomi!
Hugs and love,
What a amazing story this is and I thank you for sharing it. I'm so glad I rediscovered your blog. It's pure inspiration.
Name: OldOldLady Of The Hills
Location: Los Angeles, California