update - on the wexler documentary

I got my copy of "Tell Them Who You Are" in the mail today. For those who didn't see my post about this film, (posted on 8/17/06) it is a wonderful documentary about the great cinematographer, Haskell Wexler, made by his son, Mark S. Wexler. I had seen the movie on The Sundance Channel, and was very moved and taken with it. And when I looked up the film on Netflix, I discovered there were these special extra features. I had to get this DVD. And as I was resting today, I watched the extras. One of the "extras" on this DVD are the extended interviews with about 9 or 10 of the people who spoke on the documentary....Martin Sheen, Michael Douglas, Jane Fonda, Billy Crystal, Ron Howard, Sidney Poitier, Conrad L. Hall & Conrad W. Hall, among others....all of these people were incredibly eloguent, particularly because they were all speaking about the Parent and Child experience...about their fathers and about their children....everything that was said was thoughtful and sensitive.

Billy Crystal spoke about his daughters and the fact that they are both in show business---one of them, an actress, and the difficulty of having that last name. A famous name. And what that means and how it affects her. He said something so profound, when speaking about the daughter who is an actress, going on an interview for a job. He said: "When they say something like 'If we could just get your father to do this picture....' he said, 'it moves her, (his daughter) right out of the room'. (I understand that. I relate to that.) And if and when that happens, you know that they are no longer really interested in you, if indeed, they ever were really interested in you, in the first place. And he went on to say that this makes the whole process harder for his daughter.... Much much harder for her than if no one knew her last name. I get it. Believe me.


Jane Fonda spoke of similar problems. Someone actually said to her once, "So what else have you done besides being Henry Fonda's daughter?" That would have completely destroyed me. Completely Destroyed Me, I tell you. Fonda said some other very meaningful things and among them was the importance of not waiting until it is too late to truly connect with ones parents or children...to put aside those things of the past that keep you from having that close meaningful relationship, and that it needs to come from you to your parent.

These interviews were really wonderful in so very many ways....Poitier spoke of being a father to 6 girls and that he was very hard on all of his daughters. Too hard, he said. And he explained why, as well as alluding to the fact that he came from the economic "depression" mentality of the '30's and lived with this all his life even after he was successful.
Martin Sheen shared much about his kids and how large he loomed over them without even understanding that THAT was the case, as well as how he was given the opportunity to get closer to his children once he was no longer working so hard to establish himself in his career....I don't think that these things apply only to children of famous fathers, but the "fame" thing, can certainly complicate the experience for the child of a famous parent with a famous name, in a way that can possibly truly destroy one. I think about Bing Crosby's children and how damaged they were....

But, the most moving and profound piece of film that I saw today was the footage of Haskell Wexler watching this film his son had made for the very first time....it wasn't completely finished, but it was edited and finished enough that his father, Haskell, could watch it on a small monitor in Mark Wexlers office. We see Haskell begin to watch it and Mark is sitting behind him. Then Mark moves out of the frame going, one assumes, out of the room. Then we see Mark getting his camera ready so he can film his fathers response to this very personal film.

The film is over. And Haskell Wexler just sits staring at the now black monitor---the film being over. The camera comes into the room---Mark running it though we don't see him because
we just see what the camera sees as it moves in on his father just sitting there. He moves over towards him with the camera and we see that Haskell Wexler is terribly terribly moved. We see Marks hand go to his father's shoulder....and indeed, Haskell Wexler is so emotional he can barely speak. And then he says through his tears: "If I can just get past all this emotion...I want to say to you that this is a great film, Mark." We hear Mark Wexler immediately begin to sob off camera....I tell you...you want to talk about "Reality TV"? These moments are truly 'Reality TV'. I burst into tears...into sobs, myself. Finally, Mark Wexler was given the acknowledgement by his father that he has always needed and has always wanted to hear.

And Haskell Wexler continued to cry. Both men, so terribly moved by this moment of deep closeness that was now passing between them....Haskell is the the only one we can actually see because Mark is still off camera, but, we can hear Mark and his deeply emotional response of tears....both these men in tears, as they are probably closer in that moment than they have ever ever been.

Much much more was said....and all of it so incredibly moving and satisfying....because we as an audience are witness to this truly profound thing that has just spontaneously happened between father and son.
All the pain; all the hard work; all the hope that went into Mark S. Wexlers making of this film about his famous father....the careful thoughtful editing that he did....all of it came full circle in the most moving, satisfying and rewarding way....And by making this film he has now connected in the most real way to his Dad, before it is too late for both of them. The son, reaching out to his very difficult critical father.....Magnificent!

You will have to rent or buy this DVD to see this part of the whole....because it isn't in the actual film....But, Thank You God, it is on the 'extras' of this DVD. I couldn't help but feel as I watched this, how wonderful for Mark S. Wexler to have had these precious moments with his father.....to have cemented in a really deeply emotional way, their connection to one another, of love and respect and closeness.

Lord, how I wish I could have had something like that with my own father.




Update On The Emmy's: On this past Sunday night the Creative Arts Awards Emmy Ceremony took place at The Shrine Auditorium, and Emmy's were given out, among the categories covered was one of the panels that I voted on. "Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Special"...the Emmy went to The Opening Ceremonies of The Winter Olympics, and for the record that was my first choice....this is such a terrible category as mentioned before, because it is such a "catch-all" category....impossible to pit George Carlin against The Opening Ceremonies to my way of thinking....but there it was and here it is.

Further Update: 11:41pm-

Here is where our dear Wendy and her husband are sleeping tonight...

More to come.....